I own and manage a law firm in Chesapeake, Virginia. This place has been a blessing and a curse. In turning over this new leaf of confession, I thought it would be neat to share my experiences with the world of being a serial entrepreneur with a business you love to hate. I am going to submit these posts in a problem solution format.ProblemSmell of urine in the bathroom. In December of 2007, one of my staff members complained of a foul odor in the hall/client bathroom. This complaint came and went over the next few months. In the last week of March, 2008 my office manager (i will refer to her as E) came to me and said, “it smells awful and it has permeated the lobby, what do you want me to do?”Solution:Now I know you guys are thinking, “what does this have to do with business?” Well, this is the dirty part of business, ready? Staff have to urinate. They also defecate. These activities occur at work.  An employee’s comfortability rating is important to performance never mind the smell of urine in our lobby with our clients. I sprang into action and delegated. I directed her to call a plumber. Here is where the situation gets interesting. My best friend’s company does our maintenance so E called Bill and asked for some help. Bill arrived, black light in hand. Yes, that is right. A black light like a legal version of Room Raiders MTV. I received the following email on my blackberry from E  later that day: 

I have received numerous complaints from the staff regarding the strong stench of urine coming from the public bathroom.  Last Friday morning the odor consumed the entire reception area and ARH had me call a plumber. This morning a plumber came out and identified the source of the smell.  The bowl was left full of urine during the night.  Whoever used it last yesterday no only left the seat up, but neglected to flush.  There is copious amounts of urine on the base of the bowl, on the floor, on the walls, etc. While the obvious assumption may be that these contributions are from our clients  it does not prove true inasmuch as our last and only appt yesterday was at 2pm.  Therefore, I have no choice but to request that better aim be practiced.  If you are required to wear eye glasses please do so.  If you require a target, please advise and I will fashion one for you.Finally, I will be sending our female employees a similar email requesting that they refrain from standing when urinating. 

Now when I read this email, I thought to myself, ” Am I running a respectable business or what?” I thought the email was great and proceeded to call E from Kings Dominion where I was spending the day with my wife and kids. She told me that when Bill turned on the black light obvious urine stains were evident 2 feet from the floor on the walls around the toilet and on the floor in back of the toilet. She told me that the female staff are refusing to use the restroom in that hallway. I was disgusted and asked her what the plan was to fix the restroom. E indicated that she was on the task and corrections were being made to the facility. WOW. My theory is that my employees secretly hate me especially the attorneys and have not only urinated on the walls in the bathroom but secretly urinate around my door and probably in my chair. I refuse to get the black light and see because I don’t want to wear a hazmat suit to work. Tales of a legal professional, UGH!!!

AH