I went to the Dentist yesterday. Frankly, I hate going to the dentist. My dentist looks at my mouth like a mechanic looks at a beat up 1998 Ford Tempo. The mechanic thinks about funding his retiremement off of that car. My dentist is a super guy, very nice but my mouth is a gold mine (silver mine) for him. His staff puts me in the seat. I know what my dog feels like as she runs her latex gloved finger around my teeth in Veterinarian fashion. A transformation takes place. I am no longer a rational human being but an uncomfortable whirling dirvish of fear and anxiety. What really freaks me out is that I am completely obsessed with the idea that I have failed to maintain my nose hairs or nostril cavities correctly and this lady is going to be walking away disgusted by my teeth, my nose and my person. Assessing the situation while tasting a bit of blood, hopefully mine, I realize how much maintenance human beings have to do to be acceptable to society. Here is a list but I am sure not an exhaustive list because I won’t venture into the female maintenance requirements out of fear and ignorance. Women have more maintenace than the shuttle launch checklists.
We must, wait let me declare that I am in favor of grooming. Some men could use a trimmer or two to cut the weeds coming out of their ears and nose but I am struck by the sheer volume of of maintainance. A short list for your review: the hair on our head, the hair on our backs (ha ha), the hair in our ears, the hair in our nose, the hair on our face, our finger nails, our toe nails, our skin, and our teeth. This is a list of external requirements but if you add in the digestive track and the numerous colon cleansing commercials that tell us we need to clean our colon like a chimney sweep in the winter the tasks are overwhelming. Can you imagine if the whole world stopped maintaining itself? We would all speak french and be rude to foreigners.
AH