Evil thoughts always lurk in my mind. At the place we were vacationing, there was a community pool that families would gather around and enjoy the beautiful North Carolina sun. Most of the guys represented a cross section of male figures. There was the group of guys who should never ever be shirtless or in speedo but were. There were the middle aged guys who were at one time in shape but the years of hard work and late nights comforted by long meals and quick desserts (This was my tribe I hope) rendered them round.  Then there were the guys who were either Navy Seals or former professional athletes. Buff and tan. Now I usually don’t hate the “playa” just the game but this one guy broke a rule. He was a show off. The diving board was the focus of much attention and fun. Most of the middle aged guys that went off the board were having fun. The usual cannon balls or can opener with the sufficient splash of a middle aged man. This one dude gets up on the board and has his wife take pictures of him. I hated him right there. Never have your wife take pictures of you. Worse than that, he had great blond hair and was athletically trim and tan. Another reason to hate this guy. Worse than that he approaches the diving board with an air of Greg Luganis. What did he think he was doing trying out for the Bejing Games in Nags Head North Carolina - Hey buddy there is a code of conduct when you are in the presence of middle aged fat people.  Testing the board he gathers the drama and  I think to myself I might doggie paddle over to him when he enters and get on his back so that he sinks to the bottom of the pool never to be seen again. He dives,  he performs a perfect twisting gainer without the required fat man splash caused by the other guys. Some people actually clapped. That was it. I took off swimming ferociously to try and piggy back him to death when I looked up and he was gone. He swam past me with the speed of a shark. I caught some of his wake and lonely bobbed in the water. Catching the shaking of some of the spectators heads at my feeble attempts of retribution, humiliated, I went back to my tribe of unpopulars  where judgment did not exist. Maybe next year I will accidentally cannonball into him and teach him a lesson. His wife can get a picture of that for her vacation memory.AH