Sanctums are defined as a place of inviolable privacy  or  sacred. My truck is my sanctum. In my sanctum I can sing as loud and out of tune in my best impression of American Idol as possible. What is the best thing about my sanctum? Eating in my truck. What inescapable joy exists when I sit in my truck and engage in unfettered ravenous gorging without the judgment of others. Sometimes I will put napkins in a make shift bib on a 35 yr old plump infant so if I am eating a juicy burger and the collateral damage of the ketchup or other food juices fly around the car I don’t have to worry about getting outed when I arrive at my destination. There is no end to my love of eating in the car. Unbridled multi-tasking - driving, blackberry, jelly doughnut, coffee and singing a mobile carnival rivaling the Vegas strip. If you drive up next to me and viewed this spectacle it would remind you of a stocky valaceraptor ripping and tearing into the flesh of a new kill. His mouth drenched with the blood of the new kill eyes tight and focused. My mouth at times dripping with my new kill of Whopper, Krispy Kreme jelly doughnut or a the latest candy bar victim all of them unable to flee from my jurassic quickness their screams drowned out by the excessive Dave Mathews Band blaring through the speakers. I have thought long and hard of quietly slipping out of my suburban home to embark on ”hunting trips” wearing nothing but a loin cloth. Driving around bare chested and shoeless on a primal safari seeking the next place to pounce and drag an unsuspecting food victim back to my sanctum. Please do not ask any questions if you drive up next to me and I am shirtless. Look away and make sure that you don’t have food in your car or you could be next.

AH