TEA CART
Here is an update on the EBAY saga with my wife. Now it is a tea cart. Hold on, I did not identify this correctly. She said, “I am on the hunt for this adorable retro tea cart. It will be perfect for that tea set that I found packed away a couple of days ago. You have to see it.” First of all this tea set was in hibernation for at least 13 years. EBAY has presented an opportunity to bring things out of the grave for no apparent reason and search for new things to add to old things. George Carlin was right, a house is a place to hold stuff. When you fill it up you a need a bigger house to fill up with more stuff. Be clear, I am not poking fun at my wife because her sincerity is palpable. I am sure if I saw this tea cart, I would have to acknowledge that it is adorable. My wife’s taste is impeccable however I am quite concern that someone at EBAY has locked into my wife’s email address. EBAY will begin sending subliminal email suggestions about a rug for the living room or an additional set of dishes for the christmas set we never use. This brainwashing will trigger her relentless search for other hibernating items that have been entombed in our house for years. As she unearths them like Lazarus from the grave, her computer will come alive Dr. Frankenstein plugged in to yet another bidding war. The FED EX guy will know our house like the Schwann’s man does. We will be on first name basis with our delivery guy as he brings in the kill for my wife to create adorable matches from across the country. Help!
AH
AH
Mike on 23 Jul 2008 at 12:51 pm #
Im telling you.. shes gonna be addicted.. and is gonna need an intervention!! I will help you.. I seen the show enough. I think I got it down pat
Cris on 23 Jul 2008 at 1:45 pm #
You know your addicted when…
Every time you go to the grocery store, you offer the cashier one cent more for each item in the cart of the person in front of you.
To cut costs, FedEx and UPS are considering relocating their operations centers to your house.
Sitting on the floor of your empty apartment, you stare at your fingers and wonder whether they’ll sell better individually or as a matched set.
Your spouse is loving and caring but you decided to file for divorce because you need the storage space.
You’re the reason they adopted the “No selling your children’s vital organs” policy.
You find yourself searching eBay auctions for milk, eggs and bread.
When your wife agrees to have sex with you, you become suspicious and ask how many other bidders there were.
Just ask your kids, eRay and eFaye.
After a particularly passionate night, you lean over and whisper in your spouse’s ear, “Excellent service, great communication! Would recommend again! AAAA++++”
You set your alarm clock for 3 am so you can log on to protect your bid.
You’ve called someone a naughty name for outbidding you at the last second.
You’ve questioned your sanity because of the price you’ve bid… more than once.
You’ve changed all your clocks to “eBay official time (PDT).”
You’ve bid on something even though the picture doesn’t show up correctly.
You’ve purposely run up the bid on something similar for which you paid more.
You’ve rolled your eyes at the word “antique” or “vintage” used on something made in the past decade.
You’ve gritted your teeth each time you’ve clicked on a description that uses the word “L@@K.”
You’ve turned up the volume on your email alert so you’ll never miss an Outbid Notice.
You’ve made “My eBay” your default home page.
You’ve emailed a seller to correct their description with accurate dates or details.
You’ve come to rely on “convenience cash” from PayPal and wish you could pay all your bills like that.
You’ve earned a “Shooting Star” Feedback Profile for more than 10,000 purchases!
You won’t go to estate auctions because they don’t take PayPal.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to Ebay.